Friday, October 19, 2007

October Omnibus

Where have you been, Holy Prepuce? Just when O.J. comes back to amuse us, the H.P. disappears from the scene and isn’t here to provide his weekly guidance as to fundamentalist coffee bars, 50-foot Kings of Pop, and menstruation cinema for the developmentally disabled.

I have several excuses. Having joined an improv comedy troupe, reproduced, and changed jobs within a span of months, clearly the logical follow-up was to take on teaching a law school class. Leaving little time for sleep, these activities necessarily foreclose most blog-related activity.

Devoid of hits from its RSS-savvy regular readership, this site instead lies fallow to gather the search engine tumbleweed. For your interest, here are the twenty most recent search terms that have brought visitors to Holy Prepuce!:

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Mostly I’ve been thinking. What have I been thinking about? Well, first, this story. Not so much about the legal question it poses--it strikes me that when you fly 3200 miles to engage in a three-day bondage and discipline session in the home dungeon of a man you met on the Internet, then allow yourself to be stuffed overnight in a closet, wrapped in plastic and duct tape, and left to breathe through a plastic straw inserted in your leather hood, you probably assume the risk that the straw will fall out.

What interests me more is that the Rolodex of AP reporter Denise Lavoie includes such personages as "Vivienne Kramer, a board member of the New England Leather Alliance," and "Susan Wright, a spokeswoman for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom." Now, I'll allow that a reporter might easily locate these officials via their respective organizations' websites. Less clear is how Ms. Lavoie just happened to get in touch with one "Brian Plant, a bondage and sadomasochism practitioner from Kansas."

What else have I been thinking? I’ve been thinking we’re pretty screwed as a species when the man who cracked the code of DNA, arguably the most important insight into our natural history ever achieved, goes around saying that he is "inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa" because "all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours, whereas all the testing says not really." Not to mention his follow-up qualification that he hoped everyone was equal, even though "people who have to deal with black employees find this is not true."

Fortunately, I’ve been unwittingly doing my part to subvert white culture since I first whistled to the strains of "Paperback Writer"--as was recently explained by polygamist prophet (and recently-convicted accomplice statutory rapist) Warren Jeffs:

I was watching a documentary one day, and on came these people talking about a certain black man. In the program it was revealed that this black man was homosexual, immoral, on drugs -- the worst kind of person. And then it showed the modern rock group, the Beatles. It showed them as pingy-pangy, unnoticed, useless people nobody would hire. And so the manager of their group called in this Negro, homosexual, on drugs, and the Negro taught them how to do it. And what happened then? They went worldwide. And all other music has followed that pattern, the most famous of what we call the rock groups. So when you enjoy the beats, the rock music -- maybe even toned down with an orchestra -- you are enjoying the spirit of the black race. And that's what I emphasize to the students. And it is to rock the soul and lead the person to immorality, corruption -- to forget their prayers, to forget their God. And thus the world has partaken of the spirit of the Negro race, accepting their ways.
Finally, since USA Today published this graphic on yesterday's cover...

... I've been thinking, "why don't I have that button!?"

1 comment:

  1. Well, Watson did steal a lot of research from Rosalind Franklin, so it's not as though he's ever been the most ethical scientist around. Wasn't he going around giving eugenics lectures a few years ago?


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