Brian J. Doyle

This is not meant to be the Stupid Sex Offender blog, but I cannot let it go unreported that a deputy press secretary for the Department of Homeland Security has just been arrested for sending pornographic videos over the internet to a Flordia detective posing as a fourteen year-old girl.

Now, I recognize that DHS is not technically a law-enforcement agency, and I realize that the boys in the press office may not be as up on investigative techniques as the front line operatives, but I would hope that any DHS employee would, at a minimum, understand the following:

1. The internet is not a good place to do things you want to keep secret from the government.
2. In the course of doing something illegal, you generally don't want to give out your real name, or brag that you are a deputy press secretary for the Department of Homeland Security.
3. If you want underage girls to contact you for illicit purposes, it is probably not a good idea to give out your office or government-issue mobile telephone numbers.
4. Contrary to popular belief, there is not a hoard of early-adolescent girls clamoring for sex with 55-year-old men. If you meet one on the Internet, she likely has a badge and a fondness for the Bavarian Kremes.

I note also that the DHS released an official statement on Mr. Doyle's arrest, no doubt in response to a flurry of media inquiries. Isn't that just the way of things? You're getting ready to close up the press office for the night when the media start pounding at the door, and your damned deputy press secretary isn't answering his phone! Where the hell could that Doyle be? Probably on the internet again, that little dweeb.