Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Person of the Year!

Oh ye of little faith, who daily email to say, "Holy Prepuce, you will never be Time Magazine's Person of the Year," come now and repent! For as "Me," and thus, in the second person, "You," I am one of the select few chosen for this year's recognition.

Not only am I capable of anteceding a pronoun, but I would count myself a member of the "new digital democracy," to which this "You" refers specifically. As a blogger, I am apparently one of "the many wresting power from the few and helping one another for nothing," one who "will not only change the world, but also change the way the world changes."

For all of you spoil-sports who say the editors copped out by naming such a large class of people, I would point out that the choice is not without precedent. Time named "the American Fighting-Man" in 1950, "the Hungarian Freedom Fighter" in 1956, "U.S. Scientists" in 1960, the entire world population under age twenty-five in 1966, "Middle Americans" in 1968, and all American women in 1975.

But this recognition of the great "You" of "Web 2.0" or whatever we choose to call the Internet these days has got me thinking. And what am I thinking about? That's right--porn. Because it occurs to me that Time is the same publication that in 1995 reported 83.5% of online content to be pornographic. Yes, the study on which that article was based has since been discredited, and a more recent estimate puts the number closer to 1%, but still and all, nobody can deny that there is an awful lot of smut out there.

Which means that, into the company of Gandhi, De Gaulle, Pope John XXIII, and yours truly, Time is impliedly placing the purveyors of "Sapphic Erotica," "Couples Seduce Teens," and "Big Sausage Pizza." The final site--I swear to God I'm not making this up--is devoted entirely to photo vignettes featuring unsuspecting pizza delivery men who arrive at girls'-nights-in, and are subsequently persuaded to introduce their members through the product.

I--we--stand on the shoulders of giants.

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