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Mrs. P and I recently became proud owners of a T-Fal Avante Deluxe two-slice apparatus, and as a public service I thought I would reproduce, with annotations, portions of the instruction manual:
After a week of staring expectantly at that cardboard box, hoping for breakfast, I'm glad I finally consulted the instructions.
What?! And I bet you're going to tell me this "bread" is "sold separately."
But... but... you just told me I had to...?!
Not strictly an "instruction" (unless you are the toaster), but reassuring nonetheless.
This is generally how it works with toasters on Planet Earth, yes.
But how am I going to clean this fellow if I can't put him under the faucet? Wait, I know: the dishwasher!
Damn. Are you sure?
Curses!
This requirement excludes two of the three persons in my household.
toast \'tōst\ v.t.: to render (as bread) crisp, hot, and brown via a process of heating and drying.
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ReplyDeleteHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteLila, I can't believe you would say that about aboriginies! No, just kidding. I deleted Lila's comment only because it referenced HP's secret superhero identity.
ReplyDeleteCan I start an emo band called La Grillage Commence?
ReplyDeleteSecret identity? I always assumed you were an anthropomorphic piece of sacred, crusty flesh, complete with eyes and a little mouth.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of crusty flesh, does it say whether you can insert odd bits into the toaster? I'm asking for a friend.
OK, I'm in a corner cube so I can prowl teh Interwebs at will without anyone looking over my shoulder, but laughing out loud would be frowned upon. So I choked back my laughter throughout this post and am now in serious pain.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're pleased with yourself!
You know, in MY community, "getting a toaster" means something very specific.....
ReplyDeleteJust take a deep breath HP.
ReplyDeleteBesides, toasters are a waste of space. Now, a toaster oven is an entirely different story...
Needed a laugh and you supplied it. Thanks!
ReplyDelete